do not speak unless it can improve your silence.

I feel as though I probably should have held my tongue. 

Sometimes you leave off on the same page & know that your initial decision is the way to go. 

But then you fall behind when you're reminded what another's intents were & find yourself right at the very beginning of the book. 

Again. 

Consumed by confusion & "what ifs". 

You should clear the air & get back on the same page. 

You call. 

You confide. 

You cry. 

You're back on the same page. 

But you feel a little stupid & that unintentionally a little respect was lost for you. 

Or maybe it was gained. 

Just know that time is on my hit-list. 

I may have jumped the gun too quickly.

Impatience: 1 Kelsey: 0

It's a new round. 

It'll be different this time.  

If nothing is in my hands anymore, will it end good?

I believe it will. 

We're good. 

I'm frazzled. 

It's fine.

blog beneath the blog.

As far as my personal life goes, I feel as though many, certainly not all, of my posts on here have an overlapping melody. I always seem to throw out good information and tell you these feelings I have without even telling you all the heart of it. My words seem a little bit detached, I suppose. I guess this could be good and bad. 

The good: 

1. It's intriguing. 

2. I don't want to be that person that you will know everything about by the simple click of a mouse. 

The bad: 

1. I feel like a closed book sometimes. 

I know my efforts to blog about certain stuff end in me just telling you that I am so happy, willing & loving life without revealing my actual reasons. 

So how about this, give me a little time to muster the confidence. 

One day you will learn the whole story. I promise. 

You'll know the blog beneath the blog in due measure. 

chatterboxes.

With a pair of two almost 3 year olds being within constant ears distance & the ability to remember & repeat whatever comes out of someone's mouth, the Robinson household has been in dire need of a language adjustment. 

Don't worry, mom has us all on lock down. Even though, I'm pretty sure it's all her fault in the first place. 

Example from a few days ago. 

Proceed. Paraphrasing of course. 

Adriane: Ew I hate that!

Mom: Uh uh! We don't say the h word!

Adriane: What the hell?

Mom: Ah ah ah! NO. We can only say "h"!

Cue sarcastic response.

Kelsey: What the "h" does "h" mean?! I "h" this. 
Adriane: This is stupid.

Mom: We don't say stupid. 

Adriane: This is "s".

Oh danks mom. 

Because Simone & Gabriel are growing up & have entered the world of big kid stuff like going to preschool & whatnot, they've also become the poster children for the "what's that called?"- phase. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that folks. They will believe anything you tell them. Even if it was inadvertently spoken.

Hence this time:

Insert flashback. 

Simone & Gabe: Ewwww!! It's a bug!

Both having a finger pointing towards the top corner of the window in our living room. 

It's a moth actually. 

Simone & Gabe: What's it called??? (x3)

Kelsey: Oh it's a moth.. HOLY CHICKEN!

I couldn't resist the natural instinct to shout that last part out when I saw that in my neighbor's backyard they had chickens. wtc? New news to who? This guy right here. 

So, I sat back down & continued chatting with my mom. 

Gabe: Get da chicken! Get it Simmy!

Sim: Ewwwhewhehhew it's a chicken!

...

...

...

...

5 minutes later. 

GET DA CHICKEN!!

Mom: Uh.. why are they calling that moth a chicken?

Whoops! Even though I didn't mean to, I was deeply saddened when my mom set the record straight. Moths are now chickens in my book no matter what you say.

Events like:

-Simmy: Kelsey don't be so dramagic! 

Dramatic. 

while you are tickling her armpit.


-What's your name? COO-COO. 
Then she laughs for about 30 seconds and then says it again and again. 

-Singing JBiebs or "All By Myself"

-Being woken up early on the only day you can sleep in by two sweet beauties because they want you to come upstairs so that they can "love you". 


-Getting a flinging object of some sort thrown at your head more than once daily.

-Or classic references to movies & TV shows spilling out their mouths. 

are not a rarity.

With all their funny & mischievous moments, abnormally keen knowledge of what makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl, love for music and learning, I'd say these two are quite the chatterboxes. We knew that they had to be part of the family somehow. There's your proof. 


You totally wish you were part of it. 

cardigan weather.

It's time to take out the sweaters, boots, scarfs, & cardigans cause it's AUTUMN.

:)

September has d r a g g e d d d d d    d    d       d  on & I'm ready for October. For all you early bird schoolers, have you noticed the nippy weather as you walk out the door & to class? I've decided that Fall & Winter are my favorite season for clothes this year. My excitement to dress in all my warm clothes has gotten to the point that I rave about it at work. My adoration for colored leaves has me anxiously anticipating the change of season. I have yet to get my flu shot. Thinking about fall makes me want to eat soup, curl my hair & sit outside long enough for my nose to turn red & start running. The breeze, bare trees & rustling of leaves are what I'm looking forward to. That, & all the birthdays, Halloween & Thanksgiving. I wonder how many colds I'll get this year. The smell of warm homemade food. Hot cocoa. Smiles. Family. (sigh).

This cardigan weather makes me so happy. 

shewl.

Maybe it's that I walk for over an hour & 1/2 each day.

That I can't decide if I'm too lazy to bring either a bike or scooter in order to shorten that time, or that I'm too afraid that my clumsiness on either will land me a red-stained spot on the pavement. 

Maybe it's the urge that I'd rather sleep, go to work or spend time with my family. 

That I without a doubt   s p r e a d    m y s e l f   t o o    t h i n . I curse my 18 credits.

Maybe it's because I have 2 math classes. 

And that I'm deeply disappointed in the class that I was most excited for. Dear Dr. K, although I've learned a lot, I signed up for Honors in Writing not a political and argumentative debate class thank youuu. 

Or that I always leave my American Institutions class with a headache.

Maybe it's because I miss last semester and my frequent visits to the library which I don't have time for now. 

It's probably because I've procrastinated to such a level that I don't even know who I am. 

And it most definitely is that I'm a perfectionist and won't allow any failure even by the littlest means in my education. 

As far as school goes, I am exhausted. 

And I hate:

how I've reacted to it. 

...

how I've become the typical college procrastinator. 

...

that I let myself become overwhelmed.

...

that I let my poor attitude about this semester get the best of me. 

...

and portrayed the "shew school don't bother me" look.

It seriously stops now. 

On another note, everything else is 

AMAZING. 

rain, I don't mind.

It rained today. Where I was, it left big puddles and streams on the roads like it was taking over. 

Most think "I love the rain the most when it stops," but the rain, I don't mind. 

It makes me happy. 

The sound of pouring rain on roofs and windows makes me want to leave whatever I'm doing and go dance in it. 

It makes me want to be home and cozy. 

It's refreshing.

I could watch and deal with it all day.

It leaves a beautiful sky.

And a rainbow. 

I enjoy it. 

Keep it coming. 

life is just a bowl of cherries.

Sometimes I wonder if my family is embarrassed by me because lately I've been such a nervous wreck.

Well...either that or because I fall on my face literally an average rate of 2 times per day.

And I have an attention span of a 3 year old. 

But good news. I am:

happy. 

hopeful.

patient.

excited. 

&

ready.

la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaaa.

ask me where my priorities are.

I have a paper on the Epic of Gilgamesh due monday at 1:25.

I should probably read Gilgamesh and muster a good written word before then. 

Suggested Trig homework should be a requirement.

My laundry needs cleaning. 

Desperately, my room does too.

Quiz 2 for my online World Music class needs to be taken.

My parents need help with household chores and the twins. 

Stats homework you will be turned in on Monday as well. 

Book on Amazon you need to be ordered. 

Readings need to be read. 

Car needs emissions taken care of before the end of September. 

Whatever else that needs to get done, I promise it will happen. 

But until then I'll; 

 

Take my naps. 

Watch 10 Things I Hate About You.

Listen to music. 

Casually ponder tidbits of my favorite poems and writings. 

Drink orange juice or chocolate milk.

Heat up frozen dinners.

Have wonderful conversations with my mom.

Tell my older sister that her life is like this or that song. 

Settle for last minute get-everything-you-need-to-get-done done.

and let my thoughts consume my seemingly scatterbrained world. 

moo thank you.

VICTORY!!! Day 3 :). Success.

So about a month ago, I was with my family driving in the middle of absolutely no where. That's utah for ya. It was somewhere between Mona and Gunnison that I realized something of utmost importance. My feelings for this will never ever ever ever EVER change...

I would hate to be a cow. 

Weird huh? Ha but wouldn't you too?! I wonder what those cows think of horses. Probably just "moooo". But I really bet they are jealous of their amazingness. Seriously, if I had the option to be a cow I'd say "Moooo thank you". hahah I crack myself up sometimes. I think I'm clever. Even if I could be a happy cow like this:

mooooo wayy. 

Okay I'm done. I just had to get that off my chest. 

P.S. I got a call from my dad today who lives in Hawaii and this is what he tells me. "We are going to go find a beach where these wild horses are running around". Are you a little jealous right now? I am. But isn't this the perfect example of what I am trying to say? Would you want to go to a beach with milk cows running around? What a dream! More like nightmare..

hahaha okay now I'm finished. 

choose your OWN adventure.

Did you think I would miserably fail and wallow in self pity? Me tooooo! But to both our surprise, I didn't! hahaHA! ha. Take that doubters. 


I've recently realized that I need to decide what I want in life. (i.e. what school, what career, what goals, what desires and so on). Well I've been sort of luckier than most, because I have always known certain things that I want. This list seems to have a range from specificity to more generalizations. A lot of them are what most people would want but some are the wants that keep me more unique. And even within the last year, I've seen certain wants make room for others to be added on regularly. I've also seen some wants that I thought were at the top of my list, be replaced by bigger aspirations. Change is inevitable with my "wants" list. 


So now that the big 1-9 has entered my life, I've needed to make some pretty heavy decisions. What do I really want? I ask myself that everyday not even kidding. It's actually quite the adventure. And I've learned some really important things along the way. 
including:


-Wisdom is gained just as much through failure as it is through success. 
- Stay committed, but be openminded. 
- Accept challenges, don't settle. 
- Serve others, build them up. 

and most importantly...

- Choose your own adventure. 

Well, I think I have my wants in a pretty steady place right now. It's time to chase them. 

My adventure awaits. 

"All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare." Baruch Spinoza

"list"en up.

A few posts ago, I promised I would blog more often. Did I? Suuuureee (insert loss of eye contact as I panic to come up with an excuse). BUT I am getting better. ANDDD I am challenging myself to post everyday for 3 days hahaha. You know spicing things up here. Get ready for the heat fellow idiots. 


So in the spirt of lists... "list"en up. And that's exactly what I'm going to do today!

Listenology: the study of listening to great music. 

Why yes I did just make that word up i think... eh probs not. I'll just pretend.  

Yes. Just go with me on this.

Well folks, this is your local idiot listenologist here to share with you some great tunes. And that's not all I'll leave you with today. Do I sound like a salesperson? NBD. The "list" goes on.

First of all, I enjoy making lists more than most. Don't believe me? Check all my notebooks, computer "stickies", planner, phone etc. Cause I be making them all day! Whether it is a to do list, list of goals, list of pros and cons, or list of things to remember that are either funny, inspiring, clever, ironic, and blah blah blah. I could make a list about anything! Sooooo, along with my kind urge to share some music, I will also list my recent favorite things. Which I encourage you to become obsessed with.  

I call it. Kelsey Finds. 

1. Music: 

      Bennie and the Jets. Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful. I think I've been obsessed with this song for weeks and weeks. Make sure to listen to Elton John's original version and Haley Reinhart's cover. 

      JASON REEVES: He is one of my favorites. AND he just came out with a new album. Some of my favorite songs of his include: Entwined, No Lies (feat. Colbie Caillat), Truth, Skydive (Acoustic Version), Someone Somewhere and so on. No matter what song you listen of his, they are all good. 

      Okay I just made a really long list of others and deleted it because it felt like I was missing "this or that song" and it just got too long! So I'll just do one more. 

   Jack and White- Telephone Games and Double Trouble. I chose this one because they just came out with an album. I really like them! 

2. Food: 

      Sandwiches and beef noodles seem to take over my life but other than that, some of my favorite finds for a long time include: Guru's and Los Hermanos. 

3. Random Takeovers:

      StumbleUpon, Robot Unicorn Attack, Canvus, blog stalking, Pinterest, waterfall braids, combat boots.

    

I know this is kinda a short list, but you can thank me later. 

Well thanks for "list"ening!

Stay tuned.

Oh and let me leave you with a cute moment.

i was lucky like a four leaf clover.

(Shouldn't I be doing homework right now? Nahhhh.)
Okay, is it just me or have any of you experienced a time when you only seem to keep your mind on one thing and everything else although important slips completely from your thoughts? Man, why does this happen?! Question of the century. Well maybe not but you get the point. 


Have you ever thought about how something happened? duh stupid question. Let me rephrase that. When you look back on an experience, have you ever wondered how lucky you were to be somewhere when you were? Certain plans were already in the works. How even though such a simple moment, it changed your every reason. What if you had left 5 minutes earlier? Would someone else get that moment? Why was it you? These things happen to people all the time and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. 


From that moment that you didn't even realize until later was such a table turner, you're life changes forever. You see your faith become unshakably strong and it's like you had just come into existence. 


Great, I'm starting to ramble. I am probably confusing you all too cause I'm honestly confusing myself.  BUT I have some important statements to make:

I've never been happier.

I feel blessed.

I want to kiss the sky. 

I want to fall forever.

And I'll patiently wait until I can.

Baby, call me a four leaf clover.